November and December could fall through a manhole, never to be seen again, and I wouldn’t miss them. Difficult memories trigger melancholy autumn reveries ~ if I agree to them. Some years are better than others and some experiences hurt too much for words.
Grief was the national endowment this holiday season and, over time, we’ll each find a way to pay tribute and evolve meaning for a better world.
I live for 21 December ~ the return of light. The week between Christmas and the new year is a period of reflection, chalking up progress, metabolizing regrets, setting intentions for the next twelve months, reorganizing for maximum efficiency and sending less used items to goodwill or recycle. I reevaluate my priorities and cast ahead to see if
the path I’m on will lead me to the feelings I want to have over the next 365 days.
This is a self portrait from the dark days of the past quarter. In her opening remarks at a Doll Gardner Gallery exhibit, Karen Van Hoy stated studies show red elicits aggressive responses yet when tinted down to pink, the same color is the most peaceful. I found the concept fascinating and experimented with the idea. This type of mark making has been with me for most of my life. I’ve tried unsuccessfully to elegant up and decided raw, unadulterated interaction with the support and medium is how I am able to most fully express.
Self Portrait in Contrasting Shades of Emotion, 2012. Oil paint and bars on canvas, 30” x 24”.